Clueless

Okay, I’ll admit that there’s a lot I don’t know much about. But this pregnancy and future fatherhood run-up has presented a host of information on products that I never knew existed. Were these born out of necessity? I am beginning to think that somewhere there is a team of marketing geniuses that study the emotions of first time expectant couples. They analyze the stress, the emotion, and the finances of these two people who would do anything for each other and their child. Feeling the full weight of the circumstances, hormones, and emotions, the marketing gurus must routinely conclude: “Yeah, they’ll buy that!”.

Here’s a VERY brief rundown of things I didn’t know existed…. until now.

Travel Heated wipe holder (Are we forgetting how warm the car keeps the wipes already?)
Diaper stacker (Once you get the box of diapers home, the box won’t hold them anymore? Oh, wait I see the problem…. The website says it’s the husband’s fault for losing the diapers.)
Moses basket (Does it float? If not, what’s the point?)
Birthing gift (For the guilt-ridden husband.)
Nursing bracelet (Why not Wonder Woman’s lariat of truth?)
Chinese Gender Chart (Pay no attention to the fact that the husband’s “contribution” to the pregnancy determines the gender of the child.)


- - - Note - - - -
The editorial comments made in this entry do not absolve me of husbandly duty to purchase most, if not all, of said products that I know nothing about.

Three’s a Crowd

This week my wife ordered and received a pregnancy pillow. It’s the Today's Mom Cozy Comfort Pregnancy Pillow or as we like to call it “Gumby”.

Because of her growing belly, it’s been difficult for her to find a comfortable position to sleep in. She’s been propping pillows on her sides to help. Well, that’s where Gumby works his magic. The pillow has long pillow extensions on each side to help side sleeping. Maybe I’m a bit insecure, but I think this pillow is drafting my eviction notice from the bed!

Friends and family, apologies for the blurry face on the wife’s picture. Her expression was priceless, but I’m trying to protect what’s left of her identity.

Changes

Graduation

This was an exciting week for us. We graduated from our “special” doctors and are transferring to the “regular” obstetrician. Everything looks like it’s going very well with the health of my wife and our little babies. I greatly appreciate the continued prayers and support from our beloved family and friends!

As part of our graduation, my wife had an ultrasound on Thursday and I’m still on cloud nine. We could clearly see each of the twins, and could make out very tiny details like hands, feet and eyes. It was truly amazing and exciting. I hate to admit it, but I can now understand why Tom Cruise and um… (whatever that poor woman’s name is) spent $200,000 on an ultrasound machine for their home. I could spend hours staring that that little black and white screen just to get another glimpse at our babies. Here is a video of our ultrasound from this week.

Shock & Awe

For the most part, telling people about the news has been a wonderful experience. Some family and friends have broken down in tears of joy the instant we told them. Others have had a little different reaction. So, here are my top five most unexpected responses to the news “My wife is pregnant with twins!”

5) “You’re kidding, right?”

4) “Huh? Well, it’s about time.”

3) The evil chuckle (from a friend that has twin girls)

2) (spoken like it’s consolation to bad news) Well, at least you’re getting your money’s worth…. One hospital bill, two babies. Oh, and two tax deductions in one year!

1) “Twins? What a headache!”

Higher Math

Over the next 2 weeks my wife had a series of blood tests to monitor the pregnancy hormones. The numbers were great! In the first test we were looking for 50, we got 120. “Yay! Good job, honey!” The second test benchmark was 110 and she got 215. “Woo hoo! Honor roll for you, baby!” The third test’s goal was 200ish and she posted an amazing 430. “My baby’s mama rocks! Oh yeah!”

Okay, so I’m no math major, but these test numbers appear to be following a pattern. But it’s surely not what I’m thinking; that’s too obvious. These are just numbers, right? Now it’s time for the first ultrasound. We’re hoping and praying that we can see our baby, and maybe even hear his/her heartbeat. So, here’s a pic of the ultrasound. That’s right… do not adjust your monitor. There are TWO babies in that ultrasound! ! ! ! !

Here are some video clips of the babies of the ultrasound. You can see and hear the heartbeats, even at only 8 weeks! Who knew?

Click here to see a video of Baby A

Click here to see a video of Baby B

In the beginning…

In late 2007 my wife and I started the process to perform In vitro fertilization. Here’s a very brief recap of that procedure:

The month of November was filled with daily shots; sometimes one a day, sometimes three. I played the role of the shot giver, and my wife played the role of the pin cushion. In the first week of December my wife underwent egg retrieval. As the name implies, this is the surgical process by which they remove eggs for fertilization. In the second week of December was the transfer procedure. This is the less than surgical procedure to implant one or more embryos (fully fertilized) back into the mother-to-be. The photo to the right is of one of our embryos in the blastocyst stage. Isn't he/she cute!?

Okay, so we have all the ingredients we need to accomplish pregnancy and they’re where they need to be. Now it’s time to wait and see if everything sticks. So we waited. And then waited some more. What’s this? Oh, just more waiting. How could nine days feel like nine hundred? Wait just a bit longer.

Finally, we get to pregnancy test day. It’s a blood draw at the Dr.’s office. We’re not taking any chances with home pregnancy tests. This is too important. The entire day we’re both on pins and needles. “I want to know now! No, I don’t want to know. What if it’s negative? I don’t want to know. No, I must know now!” Then, the phone rings; it’s the doctor and she has the test results. The call from the doctor goes something like this:

Dr: Great news, your pregnancy test is positive!

Wife: Really? That’s great! Really? But, well, are you sure?

Dr: What do you mean, “Am I sure?”

Wife: How certain is this test? Are you positive?

Dr. Well that’s sort of what the word “positive” means. As in “I’m positive that your pregnancy test is positive”.

Wife: So like on a scale of 1 to 10?

Dr: Well, we’re looking for a number over 50 for a positive pregnancy test. Your number is 120.

Wife: So that means I’m really pregnant?

Dr. Yes, 120 means you’re definitely, positively, absolutely pregnant! But that’s not all that 120 means…….